Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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