he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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