we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
