This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I feel like a drive thru vagina
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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