So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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