The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
