i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
