im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
