Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize