I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Duck Duck Cougar?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I believe in your delicious
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
