Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
