After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
