I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
