okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
