We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
