Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
