I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
