There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
