I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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