imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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