I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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