its not stalking. its research.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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