I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
