It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
