hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
