Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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