dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
