K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
