He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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