No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
