i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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