Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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