seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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