Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
