it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
