He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
