I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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