Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Help me help you realize you are a moron
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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