when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
