all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
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You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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