Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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