Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize