I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize