I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
