community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize