that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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