Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.

(323): View more from California

Sounds like a plan.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city

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(619): View more from California

When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

no. you cant fuck a burger.

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(334): View more from Alabama

Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.

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(858): View more from California

I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.

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(775): View more from Nevada

ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first

(425): View more from Washington

i left yesterday

(775): View more from Nevada

ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after

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