Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs

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  (305): nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs http://tfl.nu/o6hz
  Replies (27) Good night (5240) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.

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  (773): When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change. http://tfl.nu/eo5m
  Replies (67) Good night (634) Bad night (5834)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet

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  (239): Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet http://tfl.nu/je6a
  Replies (30) Good night (948) Bad night (8728)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.

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  (815): I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud. http://tfl.nu/wi0l
  Replies (18) Good night (7045) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.

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  (518): As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon. http://tfl.nu/t4x8
  Replies (14) Good night (5070) Bad night (1529)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."

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  (440): New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron." http://tfl.nu/0r6l
  Replies (26) Good night (6026) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.

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  (530): Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying. http://tfl.nu/488f
  Replies (12) Good night (1597) Bad night (2576)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.

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  (706): Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj. http://tfl.nu/1t4c
  Replies (23) Good night (5601) Bad night (1078)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze

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  (630): Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze http://tfl.nu/yikf
  Replies (3) Good night (1286) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.

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  (812): I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together. http://tfl.nu/6uns
  Replies (3) Good night (1043) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.

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  (812): Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down. http://tfl.nu/9hkg
  Replies (7) Good night (965) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.

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  (484): We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town. http://tfl.nu/27ii
  Replies (23) Good night (2020) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.

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  (864): I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something. http://tfl.nu/s8xu
  Replies (6) Good night (796) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  God I hope the sex was good.

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  (814): He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie. (1-814): God I hope the sex was good. http://tfl.nu/1yhc
  Replies (6) Good night (415) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.

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  (704): I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave. http://tfl.nu/v72z
  Replies (4) Good night (793) Bad night (225)

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