He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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