Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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