i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
