I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
