That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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