if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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