I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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