dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
