anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize