Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
