Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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