Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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