just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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