There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
