Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
