You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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