Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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