Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.