I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch