Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.

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  (609): this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef. http://tfl.nu/eg87
  Replies (12) Good night (1102) Bad night (723)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.

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  (404): I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00. http://tfl.nu/7rzt
  Replies (9) Good night (5122) Bad night (1042)
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  (818): View more from California

  I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape

  (310): View more from California

  wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?

  (818): View more from California

  why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES

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  (818): I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape (310): wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape? (818): why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES http://tfl.nu/d72u
  Replies (94) Good night (1211) Bad night (12282)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat

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  (913): Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat http://tfl.nu/os6y
  Replies (29) Good night (6821) Bad night (1351)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..

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  (630): You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell.. http://tfl.nu/hsjq
  Replies (37) Good night (13566) Bad night (962)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.

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  (201): Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied. http://tfl.nu/g4t4
  Replies (8) Good night (3838) Bad night (850)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.

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  (214): Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it. http://tfl.nu/1ffs
  Replies (11) Good night (2664) Bad night (717)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.

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  (937): in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable. http://tfl.nu/kvvg
  Replies (14) Good night (1396) Bad night (606)
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  (805): View more from California

  Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.

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  (805): Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered. http://tfl.nu/wect
  Replies (8) Good night (1918) Bad night (431)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.

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  (228): Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well. http://tfl.nu/vvbh
  Replies (10) Good night (1146) Bad night (444)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.

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  (337): The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata. http://tfl.nu/y7xq
  Replies (2) Good night (1314) Bad night (311)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.

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  (612): I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around. http://tfl.nu/8ahv
  Replies (4) Good night (942) Bad night (294)
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  (310): View more from California

  My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'

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  (310): My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding' http://tfl.nu/2vdw
  Replies (2) Good night (1052) Bad night (253)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.

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  (970): Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background. http://tfl.nu/hf4r
  Replies (1) Good night (202) Bad night (414)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.

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  (206): Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here. http://tfl.nu/36ym
  Replies (0) Good night (482) Bad night (239)

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