Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Update, blind date is cute and fun.

(248): View more from Michigan

Scratch that, blind date just threw up.

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(248): Update, blind date is cute and fun. (248): Scratch that, blind date just threw up. http://tfl.nu/ooba

Replies (10) Good night (525) Bad night (3856)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!

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(732): I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body! http://tfl.nu/a54s

Replies (22) Good night (4735) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
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(805): View more from California

Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.

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(805): Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy. http://tfl.nu/cdtm

Replies (23) Good night (5279) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
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(518): View more from New York

she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.

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(518): she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going. http://tfl.nu/q9ws

Replies (16) Good night (1330) Bad night (6630) Order T-Shirt
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(217): View more from Illinois

The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.

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(217): The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool. http://tfl.nu/4pl2

Replies (44) Good night (5074) Bad night (1127)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.

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(608): Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week. http://tfl.nu/ckos

Replies (8) Good night (3312) Bad night (911)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'

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(306): I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes' http://tfl.nu/oxkp

Replies (9) Good night (7591) Bad night (879) Order T-Shirt
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(513): View more from Ohio

Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.

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(513): Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything. http://tfl.nu/e1ys

Replies (84) Good night (1830) Bad night (6659) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer

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(519): we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer http://tfl.nu/j198

Replies (13) Good night (2359) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
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(337): View more from Louisiana

After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.

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(337): After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested. http://tfl.nu/exbc

Replies (7) Good night (2161) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.

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(262): Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene. http://tfl.nu/6cb0

Replies (1) Good night (1133) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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(914): View more from New York

Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.

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(914): Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life. http://tfl.nu/0z43

Replies (2) Good night (439) Bad night (1106) Order T-Shirt
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(404): View more from Georgia

Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever

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(404): Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever http://tfl.nu/354h

Replies (4) Good night (783) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
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(720): View more from Colorado

I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit

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(720): I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit http://tfl.nu/p0py

Replies (5) Good night (495) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
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(817): View more from Texas

I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.

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(817): I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult. http://tfl.nu/nj2j

Replies (4) Good night (269) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt

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