farters have to be the big spoon...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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